I Solemnly Swear That I'm Up To No Good
by heycassbut
Summary: I, Eleanor Roberts, am and always have been a Marauder. I'm practically one of the guys. And, in the spirit of sharing a very little known story, here's how my fifth year went. (Previously entitled "The Marauders and I")
1. Chapter 1

"Eleanor Jessica Roberts!" My mother yelled up the stairs, knowing her voice would carry into my room from where she stood downstairs, "Get your butt out of bed! You've got to be at the station in an hour and I'd like you not to be the idiot that has to chase the train because they were late!"

I groaned, rolling out of bed and sloppily changing into the muggle clothes I'd laid out the night before. I ran a brush through my hair and checked, double checked, and triple checked that I had everything I'd need for my fifth year at Hogwarts.

Dragging my bag behind me, I walked out of my bedroom and down the stairs, my bag hitting every step with a loud thud behind me. My mother was standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me. "Got everything?" She asked.

"Yes, mother. I've got everything I need."  
"Just checking," she said defensively, "I don't want another letter saying you've forgotten something and need it mailed. And you're going to be studying this year, I hope?" There was a faux hopeful tone to her voice, as if she'd given up on me ever caring about my grades long ago.

I laughed, "Yeah, mom. And you'll ever go back to your job in the Owl Post."

My mom smiled, her eyes shining brightly, "Now what kind of mother would I be if I didn't even try?"

I smiled brightly, "A cool one." My mother returned my smile and grabbed my hand. I squeezed my eyes closed tightly. Apparating always made me feel sick.

Within a matter of seconds, the world around us had disappeared and my mother and I were spinning through time and space. When I opened my eyes, the two of us were at a train station, already in the magical realm of Platform Nine and Three Quarters.

I placed a peck on my mother's cheek. "By mum," I told her, "I'm going to find the boys." By 'the boys' I clearly meant James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. My mother clearly knew that. Although she also knew that I didn't really like Peter all that much.

I grabbed my trunk and half walked, half jogged away, giving a small wave at my mother's proclamation of, "Have a good fifth year!" I weaved in and out of the crowd, "accidentally" bumping into Slytherins as I made my way to the train.

"Paws!" The call came from behind me and I whipped around, wondering which of my friends it was that had called me. It was James that had spoken, but Sirius was right next to him. They were both headed my way.

"Padfoot," I smiled, "Prongs." I gave each of the boys a hug and the three of us turned to continue on our way to the train.

"So how was your summer?" James asked me, pulling on his shirt collar like it was choking him. Granted in his mind, it most likely was.

"As boring as any summer spent alone with your parents and House Elves can possibly be," I replied in a monotone voice, "I bet yours was interesting, the both of you. Sirius is seriously living with you full time now, James?"

"Yup," It wasn't James that answered, but Sirius, "I was disowned and Jameson here's parents were kind enough to take me in as their own." James wacked Sirius on the head at the sound of his full name being used.

"Got into loads of trouble, too," James added, "Pulled more pranks than you guys will believe. Might just take an entire year's worth of potions class to describe."

I chuckled at James' statement as the three of us handed our trunks to the worker. They would, of course, be magically transported to our rooms. All we needed was our robes (and money if you were buying from the trolley).

The three of us climbed onto the train, immediately making our way to our usual compartment at the back of the train, as far away from the Slytherin house as we could possibly get. "Do you suppose Remus and Peter are already there?" I asked, moving aside to let a seventh year pass.

"Who cares?" James asked, sliding the compartment door open (they weren't in there), "We've got more pressing situations right now."

"Oh, yeah!" Sirius added, leaving me to be the only one in the dark now, "This year's Quidditch Team! Do you suppose we'll get any good new kids? We really don't need any, there was only one seventh year last year. Besides, we've got loads of people wanting to take over that one extra Chaser position. So unless the newbies are super good, none of them will make it."

I smiled, "Good. I hate change. It needs to wait. We totally dominated last year and I want the same outcome this year."

The door slid open again and Remus entered the room. "Hello, Marauders!" he exclaimed brightly, "Ready for the new year?"

"Remus," I reminded him, "You're the only one in the entire group who actually cares about grades."

James laughed, "She got that one right, Moony." Remus shut the door and settled into a seat across from Sirius and me and next to James.

"Guys," I told the group, leaning back in my seat and not acknowledging Peter's entrance (other than a polite wave, of course), "You do all realize that we need to come up with some seriously new pranking ideas, right? Our old stuff just isn't going to cut it anymore."

Sirius wrapped his arm around me (in the way one would do to a friend, not someone you're trying to hook-up with). "Oh, Paws," he told me, "What did you honestly think James and I were doing all summer? Sitting around twiddling our thumbs? Well, have I got news for you, my friend." He flashed me the trademark Black smile and threw his arm out in a grand gesture towards James, "Prongs…"

James smiled broadly and pulled a paper out of his backpack, along with the Marauder's Map. He handed me the map, "Hold onto this, would ya?" I nodded and he proceeded to open the paper that clearly held what he and Padfoot had done all summer.

"Presenting," James announced in the stereotypical announcer voice, "Some of the Marauder's best up-and-coming pranks, made by Yours Truly… and Padfoot." He added Sirius as an afterthought, "First we have my personal favorite-"

The door to the compartment slid open, interrupting James' monologue. Lily Evans stood in the doorway, looking as annoyed as she usually did. "James," she said, her face showing just how clearly unamused she was, "You're a prefect… You're supposed to be out here helping me wrangle in all these first years."

James gave Lily a sheepish smile and stood up, turning to face the four of us. "Well, it's been nice catching up," he told us, "I'll see you all at the Banquet." He paused, thinking, "Given that Lily doesn't murder me first." He threw the four of us a cocky smile and followed Lily out of the room and down the hall.

"James took the paper with him," Peter told us all, his voice quiet and mousey. That's what Peter was like, though. He was quiet and mousey. And if you asked me, I would say that he really did look like a rat, too.

Exasperated, Sirius threw his hands up in the air, "Well there went my plans. James and I were going to show you guys all of our new pranks and we would just talk about that the whole ride there. It would have been great."

Remus looked up from the book that he'd been previously engrossed in, "For some reason, I'm not too upset that James took the paper with him."

I let out a giggle at Remus' statement but was quickly silenced by a prompt glare from Sirius. "Who ever thought that James would be a prefect," I told the group, leaning my head against the window and bringing my legs up and putting them on Sirius.

Sirius gave a smile and pushed my legs off, "If you were to have asked me last year, I would have said he had the same chances as he did in getting an O in Divination."

I laughed and added, "I would have said the same chances as he has ever getting a date with Lily Evans." That statement elicited laugh from everyone in the compartment.

Moony set his book down on the bench next to him and looked up at all of us. "We're almost at Hogwarts," he said, "I suggest we all get changed."

I rolled my eyes at Mooney's responsibility, but grabbed my robes anyway. I bundled them into a small ball (easier to carry that way) and opened the sliding door. "I'm going to find somewhere else to change. I'd rather not do it in front of a whole bunch of fifteen year old boys."  
"Awh," Sirius said as I walked out of the room, "I've been looking forward to this moment all day, Paws. You can't just crush my dreams like this!" He had to yell the last sentence to make it audible to me, as I'd already made my way down the hall a bit.

**. . .**

I opened the door to the bathroom that I'd found and emerged, fully clothed in black muggle combat boots (part of breaking the rules is breaking dress code, you know), a skirt, my dress shirt, a sweater, and my robes. My hair was in its usual messy bun.

I was sticking my wand in my boots when I bumped into someone, "Oi, watch where you're going."

I stood up strait to look into the eyes of the person that could have been Sirius' twin. "Regulus," I muttered, "And what gives you the idea that you have the right to speak to me that way? Last time I checked I was your elder." I smiled brightly at the last sentence, hoping to appear wicked, bitchy, and slightly terrifying.

"Sorry," he muttered, walking away. He had his eyes trained on the ground the entire time, like he was ashamed to have been shown up by a female, which was most likely not the problem. He was most likely ashamed that I was not only in Gryffindor, but that I was also best friends with his newly disowned big brother.

I turned back around to begin walking towards my destination only to be faced by Prongs. "Fierce," he said, "I like it." He added a wink to the end of the sentence. "But really, we're almost at the school. You should be getting back to your compartment now."

**. . .**

"I'm telling you guys!" I exclaimed, frustrated, "James was actually responsible. He hardly even commented on the fact that I practically got your brother cowering in fear, Sirius."

Sirius paused, as if frozen. "You scared my brother?" He asked incredulously. I nodded animatedly in response. Sirius held his hand up, smiling, "You go girl. High five!" I held my hand up and slapped him in the hand.

"You guys are absolutely the most irresponsible and childish people I know," Remus said, shaking his head as if in denial.

"Are you really just realizing this now, Moony?" I asked with a wide grin, standing up as the train pulled to a stop. There was no way I was being at the end of the pack. The pack of students eager to begin their newest year of magical education, that is. I had to get a carriage with my friends. My friends and only my friends.

I opened the compartment door and pushed my way through the crowd of second through seventh year Gryffindors (well, there were the occasional first years, but still), glancing back to make sure my friends were behind me every once in a while. They were behind me.

I made my way to the front of the train and stood there for a couple of seconds before Remus, Peter, and Sirius joined me. Of course, we did have to stand there for a few more minutes until the head boy and head girl came out of whatever special compartment they got to let us off the train. Within a minute, James had joined us and the Head Boy and Head Girl came out and gave their entire monologue or whatever. I don't know, I wasn't listening.

They opened the doors and the five of us rushed off the train. It may sound kind of petty, but the rest of the Marauders and I had this thing where if we were the first ones to the school, we kind of felt free for a minute. Like, if we were the only ones in the school (since all the teachers decide to leave their rooms and go to the Great Hall when half of the students get into the hall), even if it was only for like, five minutes, there was no one to enforce rules and we could do whatever we wanted. We never got very far in our scheming, since it was only five minutes we were alone. We mostly just ran around and cast charms so that when the first years walked in, fireworks went off. Not anything we wouldn't do anyway.

So we climbed into our carriage, the five of us squished in together really uncomfortably. "You know," James said from where he was sitting in between Sirius and me, "This was a much roomier ride when we were little."

I nodded in reply, "It's getting a bit uncomfortable, especially with you giants here. I guess it's bearable, though." Sometimes it's just really hard being friends with all boys. You're always the smallest, to them the weakest, and you're always getting hit on. But it's worth it in the end.

Our carriage came to a stop and Sirius pushed the door open, jumping out and waiting for the rest of us to follow. Once we were all safely out of the carriage, it drove away, leaving the five of us in front of the school.

"You guys ready?" Sirius asked, taking a step forward towards the castle. In response, I ran towards the school doors, pushing them open and throwing my arms out.

"HOGWARTS!" I screamed, spinning in circles until I bumped into someone. I stopped immediately and turned to look at that person.

Albus Dumbledore stood in front of me, dressed in his usual long light blue robes. "I understand that you're glad to be back to school, Miss Roberts, but there really is no need to be screaming and dancing." He added a smile to the end of his phrase.

I grinned cheekily. "Headmaster, what are you doing here?" James asked, "There's never any staff here this early. It's usually just us."

"Yes," Dumbledore told James, "But due to the stunts you've pulled the previous few years, it's been decided that it's best off if there's an adult waiting with you in the Great Hall until more people come. Just precaution. Surely you understand James."

"Yes, sir," James muttered, looking at the ground and making his way towards the Great Hall.

The Great Hall was one of the many reasons I liked Hogwarts so much more than I liked my house. I didn't like the Great Hall because it was the only time everyone was all together or anything. The Great Hall is what feeds my need for food. I mean, who wouldn't like a table with food that appears whenever you run out? No one, that's who!

The five of us talked about nothing in particular while the Great Hall filled up. You know, it's kind of amazing how people's friend groups fall into their houses. It's like no one was on the train with a person from a separate house. If you came into the Great Hall with them, you ended up sitting with them. I guess the Sorting Hat does do a better job than anyone gives him credit for at sorting people into their houses.

Honestly, after the sorting, the rest of the night is pretty much a blur. I'm pretty sure Sirius spiked the pumpkin juice, actually. I remember eating until I was absolutely stuffed, partying like only Gryffindors can once we got to the common room, and going up to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

I was woken up in the morning by Lily Evans_. _"Eleanor," she said, shaking me, "It's time to get up. You really don't want to miss your first day of classes, do you?"

In all honesty, I didn't care if I missed my classes or not. Truthfully, I learn all of the stuff we learn at school over the summer while I'm trapped with my parents so that I don't have to do it here. However, I played along with Lily so I wouldn't hurt her feelings, "Oh, thanks, Lily. What would I have done without you?"

Lily smiled, clearly pleased with herself, and left the room smiling. With a flick of my wand, I was showered, changed into a skirt, muggle combat boots, and the rest of my uniform. Thanks to magic, my hair was perfectly curled, as it would be for the rest of the day.

Taking one last glance in the mirror, I moved downstairs into the common room. James and Sirius sat on the couch, huddling over what I assumed to be some pranks. Remus was curled up in a chair with a book thicker than my head. Peter was sitting on the ground in front of Remus, fiddling with his wand.

"Morning boys," I said, yawning. I made my way down to the couch and plopped next to James, draping my legs over him and Sirius.

"Morning Lou," Remus said, putting his book down, "We better go down to breakfast. McGonagall should be handing out schedules soon."

The boys nodded and stood up. As Padfoot and Prongs stood up, they took my with them, knocking me off the couch and onto the ground. I stood up, wiping off my robes.

"Thanks guys," I muttered, catching up with them. Each of them looked at me and Padfoot and Prongs laughed, but no one said anything. "Does anyone know when Quidditch starts?" I asked, "I haven't gotten a chance to look at the notice board and I assume McLaren's posted something already." McLaren was the captain.

"Yeah," James said, "Tryouts are tomorrow."

"You know," Sirius added, "I don't understand why we start school on a Friday. Why not just give us that extra day to do nothing?"

"Because we have to start on the first," I answered, "That's the way it's always been, Padfoot. It doesn't really matter what day of the week it is, we have to be here."

"Yesterday was the first," Sirius said, "Today is the second, Paws. I'm just saying, why don't they give us the day off? Let us go to Hogsmede or something?"

"They probably figure we'll get in trouble," James said as we approached the hall, "It was that way before we starting Pranking as much as we do now, remember? I think they changed it when we were in third year."

I smiled as we took our seats at the Gryffindor table, "Good to know we make an impact on the school."

"Quite an impact at that, Miss Roberts." The five of us looked up to see McGonagall standing in front of us with papers in her hands. She handed one to each of us and stalked off to some other students.

I glanced at my schedule, somewhat afraid of what I'd be seeing. My schedule read:

"**8:15-9:15…. Potions with Slytherin**

** 9:20-10:20…. Charms with Ravenclaw**

** 10:25-11:25…. Defense Against the Dark Arts with Slytherin**

** 11:30-12:30…. Lunch/Free Period**

** 12:35-1:35…. Divination with Hufflepuff**

** 1:40-2:40…. Transfiguration with Ravenclaw"**

After complaining mentally that I was in Divination yet again, I turned to Moony next to me, "Let's see what classes we have together." The two of us looked at our schedules comparingly.

"We've got Transfiguration together," He said, "And that's about it." After further consultation, we figured out that all five of us are in Transfiguration together (leave it to McGonagall). I've also got Divination with James and all of my classes with Sirius. I had no other classes with Peter.

Sirius and I were only taking the bare minimum of classes, where as everyone else was taking some advanced classes and extra classes. For that precise reason, Sirius and I were aligned to be in all the same classes and everyone else was only in a couple of our classes.

Once finishing our breakfast (it was quite delicious, thank you), Sirius and I headed off to the dungeons for Potions. "Of course we're in the class with Slytherin," he said once we were off in a desolate hall, "I feel like we're always with Slytherin during potions."

I laughed, "Fun Fact of our Hogwarts Experience: We have, in all our years at Hogwarts, only been in Potions with Slytherin."

Sirius let out a loud cackle, tilting his head back, "You know, for someone who hates school, you sure are a genius."

I smiled and pushed the door to the Potions room open and sent Padfoot a cheeky smile, "Why, thank you."

We were, of course, the last ones to get to class. "It was very kind of you to come to class, you too," the words came from Professor Slughorn, "I was beginning to think you wouldn't come to the first day of class."

Sirius grinned a mischievous grin and said, "I'd never dream of it, Professor Slughorn."

"And yet I still hope, Mr. Black." Man, I didn't know Slughorn was that sassy. He continued, "Would the two of you kindly take your seats?"

The only seats left were at a table in the very front of the room, and so Sirius and I moved to sit there together. Once we were safely seated and not disturbing his class, Slughorn began his lesson plan for the day. It was, of course, describing the lesson plan for the year and (though we'd heard it more times than any of us wanted to) telling us about his precious Slug Club.

**. . .**

"I'm telling you, Paws, that man is the most senile person I know."

"Don't be an idiot, Padfoot. He's nowhere near as senile as Dumbledore and we both know it." The two of us were on our way to lunch, and we were still talking about how old Slughorn is.

"Dumbledore's just cool, man. I really want to see what Slughorn's like when our kids come here." Sirius was, obviously, trying to convince me that Slughorn was the most senile person still working at a school.

"That is, assuming that you have kids," I said, smiling at my own diss. Sirius' smile fell and I grinned, picking up the pace to walk slightly ahead of him and taking my seat at the end of the lunch table next to James.

"Hey, Paws," he said, his mouth full, "Had fun with Slytherin?" He took a large gulp of his drink as Sirius sat down on the other side of me.

"It wasn't that bad, actually," I told him, loading my plate with a sandwich and some fruits, "Slughorn hasn't had much reason to take points from us yet."

"He had plenty of reasons," Sirius piped in, "We were not only late for his class, but we sassed the living shit out of him in the process."

"And he sassed you back," I said with a bright smile and a large bite of my peanut butter and jelly.

"I have to deal with this all day," Sirius told the boys, as if I wasn't sitting directly next to him, "Do you see how mean she is to me?"

Remus laughed, "You two shouldn't be fooling around so much in all your classes, you know. You do have to have relatively good grades to become aurors."

"Ah," Sirius said, swallowing the last of his first sandwich and loading another onto his plate, "But you don't to have to be a Quidditch player."

"What happens if you don't make the team?" Remus asked.

"Don't be so silly, Remus," I told him, "You've seen Padfoot and I play. We're clearly good enough to make the team."

"You sure," Peter said, speaking up for the first time really at all this year, "But I'm not so sure about Padfoot. And even if he did make the team, I'm about ninety percent sure he'd be kicked off for disciplinary issues."

"Oh, would you look at that," I said as I got up from the table, Sirius and James following, "Twice in a day, Padfoot. Plus the one from me. That makes three! You are not on your game today, man."

The three of us were walking out of the Great Hall now and heading towards the Divination room. "I'm telling you, Prongs," Sirius said, "I'm going to have to request a schedule change if she keeps this up for the entire year."

"Yeah, me too," Prongs said as he plowed through a bunch of first years, "I'm going to want to be there if she's going to be this annoying to you."

"Oh, just wait," Sirius added, "She'll start to do it to you, too. It'll start before we even get to our next class, just you watch."

"You guys," I told them, brushing my hair behind my ear, "I am right here, you know."

"Oh, are you really?" James asked as we climbed up the stairs into the Divination classroom that looked quite a bit like an old fashioned attic, "I thought there was a fourth year following behind us. Didn't you, Padfoot?"

"Oh, yeah," Padfoot said, taking a seat at the round table we'd always sat at, "I'm quite surprised you're here, Lou."

"Oi, you two!" I exclaimed, "Shut up, already!"

**. . . **

"Finally!" I exclaimed, sprawling myself over the couch in the common room, "Some free time to do whatever I want!"

"Where is everyone?" Sirius asked, sitting in a padded chair next to the fireplace.

"In classes," I replied, my head buried in a pillow, "We're the slackers, remember? Even James is more motivated than us. They'll take classes straight through until dinner."

Padfoot chuckled and said, "Suckers. Why on Earth would anybody do that? That's like saying 'Hey, Professor, I've got some free time later. Why don't you give us some more homework?' It's absolute crazy talk!"

"Well some of us would like to have a bright future, Sirius," said a voice coming from the girls' dormitory. I sat up and turned to look at the voice.

Lily Evans was walking towards the front of the common room. "Lily," I said, my brows furrowed in confusion, "What are you doing here? I'd expect you of all people to be in extra classes."

"I am," she answered calmly, "But unlike some, I know how to manage my time wisely. I've got s free period right now before muggle studies."

"What do you need that for?!" Sirius exclaimed, "You're a muggleborn, Lily! That class is to understand muggles."

"I just thought it would be an interesting class to take. You know, that way I'd be able to see what wizards thought about muggles. Maybe I'll even be able to help out the teacher with some of her facts. You never know."

"Yeah, whatever, Lily," I muttered, laying back down on the couch and burying my face into the pillows.

After a few minutes of silence, Sirius spoke up again. "Hey, Paws. You wanna play on the Marauder's map some?"

I sat up and faced him, smoothing my hair down a little. I scooted over so there was space next to me and patted on the couch. "Yeah, why not?" I dug my wand out of my boot and gave it a flick, saying, "Accio Marauders Map." I held my hand up and caught the map expertly when it came to me, as if I'd done it loads of times before (though I really hadn't).

"You truly are the definition of lazy, Eleanor Roberts," Sirius said as I smoothed the map out on the Common Room coffee table.

I rolled my eyes and said, "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good." I watched as ink spread along the paper, showing the words that Remus had programmed it to say whenever someone muttered the 'secret password'. Even now, after about two years having had the map, I was still amazed at what Remus had managed to do with the thing.

"Oh, look!" Sirius said, pointing to the abandoned girls' bathroom, "My brother's down in the abandoned girls' lavatory with Wendy Jared!"

I grinned and said, "Oh, Regulas. Sirius, your brother is getting it _in_." He laughed and I moved on, my eyes scanning the rest of the map.

"Oh there's nothing interesting going on," Sirius proclaimed after a couple of minutes. "What should we do now?"

"Mischief managed," I said, rolling the map up and shoving it in Sirius' arms. "I dunno. I mean, we could always go sign up for more classes so that there's stuff to do."

Sirius and I shared a look and burst out laughing. Sirius wiped his eyes clean of his fake tears. "You're hilarious, Paws. You really are."

I grinned at him, "I'll see you in a little bit, Padfoot. I'm going to go take a nap. See you at dinner." I paused for a minute before realizing that with my luck, I'd sleep through dinner. I took one last glance at him as I moved towards the stairs before adding, "Hopefully."

**. . . **

I yawned and rolled out of bed, feeling exhausting but knowing that it was dinner and I needed to wake up. I headed over to the full body mirror in the corner of the room and glanced at my reflection, grinning when everything was still in place. My charms really are better than I've ever been given any credit for.

I grabbed my wand off of where it sat on my bedside table and shoved it in my boot before moving to walk downstairs to the common room. The boys were all in there still, spread out along every piece of furniture in the room.

"Boys," I said, sitting on the edge of the couch and turning to look at each of them. Remus was doing someone's paper, Peter was watching (Making me assume that it was Peter's paper he was doing), James was making sparks fly out of his wand (each of them in different shape and color, of course), and Sirius was laying on the table staring up at the ceiling.

"Finally!" James exclaimed, standing up off the couch, "The dead has arisen and it's acceptable for us to go to dinner!"

I gave him an odd look. "James," I said, "I practically told Sirius you guys could go to dinner without me. I told him I didn't know if I'd be awake in time to make it."

"I know," James said as he pulled Sirius up off the table, "He told us. But Remus said it was impolite to leave without you. And then Peter jumped on board. And then Sirius just sprawled himself along the table. So I just stayed. But we've been waiting for you to wake up, Paws!"

The five of us made our way to the great hall, ignoring anyone who tried to speak to us in the process. I mean, I know it's rude and all, and we're not normally like that, but the people that tried talking to us _were_ mostly Slytherins.

And so we all ate. There were jokes made. There was some making fun of. Peter choked on a chicken bone. We all went to bed. So in all, the usual stuff happened.


End file.
